The Adventure of Panzerfaust

Sunday. The day of rest. Families go to Church. Football fans go to couch. Travel slows and businesses close. Sunday is a day of rest for everyone, but not Panzerfaust. That's because this Sunday was the day that they would come for him.

Panzerfaust sat in his tube, his world colored orange by the walls of his prison. He inhaled from the butt of a Camel. It took him two months to get the drag he wanted. Two months of escaping, stealing, and concealing, to get the cigarette and match he would need for one last puff before the real work began.

"Smooth..." He murmured to himself. Anyone who was listening heard, "Squeaksqueaksqueak."But he wasn't talking for them. He had almost forgotten what it was like to hear any voice but his own. It kept him sane.

He finished the shoddy remains of tobacco just before a pair of thick fingers picked him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Here we go." He stated, grim and determined that they would go down before he did.

"MR. SQUEAKERS! MR. SQUEAKERS! MR. SQUEAKERS!" The shrill, booming voice of the children exploded in his ears. They would die, painfully, but not now. He needed them to put him down, and he knew they would. They revelled in watching him run frantically away from their clumbsy feet.

Panzerfaust hated them. In the old country, they lowered him on a rope from the streets to drop molotov cocktails on Nazi tanks. He was a hero. Here, he was a pet to some yuppies shitty children.

God, I hate them all. He thought to himself. If a psychic was nearby, they would have tuned into "squeak squeak squeak" but there wasn't. He was as alone as he always was, and always had been.

Just before they put him down, and he could make a break for it into the tunnels he had etched out over the years of his incarceration, they dropped a woman on the ground in front of him. She was a Dutch Longhair, pure white, a rare breed after the Nazi rats flushed out their people. She had the prettiest eyes Panzerfaust had ever seen. Of course, he hadn't seen anyone in years. The children put him down in front of her.

This left Panzerfaust with many options. "I could run and ignore her, I could wait and find a way for both of us to get out together, or..." Panzerfaust realized what he would do. He rushed her and bit out her throat as fast as he could, then bolted to his escape. He had realized that she would just slow him down, and he couldn't let them have a new captive.

I think I'll go to Prauge. He thought to himself as he relished the cries of anguish erupting from his tormentors. Someone there owes me big-big.