Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut...

Sometimes I don't...

Did you know that old people like to travel with luggage so heavy they are physically incapable of moving it? It is true. It is also the sole reason I have a job. Here are some things that I speculate they carry:

Lots of Clothing (at least 20 outfits, plus cold weather outfits for every day they are traveling, plus dress clothing.)
Souvenirs (Stupid shit, usually has the name of a city stamped on it in bold.)
Crap that Tourists buy (Stupid shit, changes by location, usually gaudy, anything that doesn't qualify as a souvenir or also makes the tourist look like an ass.)
Next of Kin (Just in case, also, they need to know if the crap they are buying as gifts will fit.)
Lead Bricks (Actually, this did happen once. The fucker had a lead brick that he said was lucky.)
Nazi Gold (They are probably smuggling it to the Mormons. I will only explain this upon request.)
The Kitchen Sink (Only they need the banquet kitchen sized one, often stainless steel.)
Rocks (They pick them up at Crazy Horse as Souvenirs, and yes, you can do that. There is a pile in the info center's lobby of rocks blasted off the mountain for people who want to donate... I'm not sure if any of them have 'actually' picked one up.)
More Clothing (just in case a blizzard happens or the bus gets sucked into the cold depths of outer space.)
Children (They need life essences to survive.)
The Necronomicon (Not especially heavy, but its evil always gets on my pants.)

Anyway, they will usually act like their luggage being nearly unliftable to people without my Herculean strength is a joke. Sometimes the apologize. It is always more than they need.

The other day I got a woman in who was absolute obsessed with the idea that the hotel would burn down. She was pissed because she was on the seventh floor, but we couldn't move her to the fourth. When I told her that this place use to be the tallest building in the midwest she jumped on me with, "And then the top floors burne down, right?!

Actually, I think it was that they build the Sears Tower. Her husband was pretty irritated by her. He gave me a five buck tip, I think it was mostly as an apology.

Oh well.

Not much new going on around here. I just got back from walking my dogs. The birds out there are funny. We have a drainage ditch behind our house, and we walk our dogs along it. It is a pretty big field, and we just try to ignore the houses that are being built on the other side of it. Anyway, this is the perfect habitat for Red Winged Blackbirds (my favorite kind of bird, ask me why!). Anyway, I'm pretty sure they have nested by now, and the males are getting territorial. So, when my dogs walk by a hotspot the male birds will fly above them and do little faux dive bombings. They line up and just swoop down, but always miss by about a foot. It is a very odd display. I guess it is their way of saying, "Go away, but because I can't actually fight you I'm just going to irritate you and try to draw attention away from my home." Of course my dogs never look up, so they miss the whole aeronautic display. Only one managed to get any attention, and it damn near ran into the dog.

I should go buy a camera.

Anyway, I'm just watching time go by. I am working on a logic textbook for one of my professors (a hefty fee was involved) and it is pretty dense. I really liked the one we used in class better. Oh well.

Right now I wish I could find some people to play DnD with. Honestly, only one of my friends is left out here, everybody else either moved away or died. I'm getting bored. Luckily my friend works at the same place I do, and I control the schedules... Have I talked about this before? I think I have... Nevermind.

Anyway, I really need to find something to do.

Also, as a side note, my brother is getting married. He decided that the girlie's family is in Los Angeles (mostly), my family is in Rapid City, and the extended families of both sides are on the East Coast (mostly). So, Las Vegas is a good spot to get married in because it is right in the middle.

My brother did not get good grades in geography.

Anyway, I have to be a groomsman or something like that, so I ordered a tux. I'll see how that goes.

Also, because the girlie-type's family is loaded, they are getting married at the Bellagio. The fucking Bellagio Ocean's Eleven super hotel Bellagio. I think he forgot that we are white trash. Oh well. (Inaccurate, we are the step above white trash.)

So, that should be interesting. They were going to get married in December, but moved it to July. Of course, that means that I won't get to have fun in Vegas because I won't be 21 yet. If they had only waited...

Anyway, the point of the story is that my life is boring. At least the pay is good.



Oh wait... the pay sucks too...