Yawn

Today I actually moved around. YAY. Go me! This spontaneous change of pace was caused mostly be the fact that I found about three bucks worth of arcade tokens in my room.

So, to the mall!

Unlike most trips to the mall, this one did not make me want to vomit due to the excessive humanity that is found in Rapid City. I think that Grand Theft Auto put it best when an in game commercial referred to, "The uninvited diversity of the city." It was actually surprisingly empty, which I appreciated when I entered the arcade. No squalling children running around and trying to steal anything that isn't nailed down, just the small cluster of nerds who never leave the DDR machine except to go to the bathroom and get an Orange Julius. (I actually like that it is always running, it has better music than the arcade does...)

The first thing I noticed was that there were no games I wanted to play. In fact, they got rid of the games I did want to play. I noticed that there was a jet figher sim, so I plunked my ass down in it and put a few tokens in. I also wondered why 1 token was never enough for anything anymore. At first I was dissapointed because there was no A-10 option, but I'm use to that. So I started flying along, apparently my job was to shoot missles at boats and not die. I was doing a fine job of that, but the game was moving awfully slow for a jet... Once I had figgured out what to do the game ran out of time.

Why do games have time limits? Oh yea, to screw people out of money quicker. It isn't enough that you should die in the game, they have to have a superficial timer to hustle you as well. The only game I forgive this of is "Time Crisis" because it does this in a complete and fair manner that actually ties in to the plot (you have x amount of time to stop them sort of thing). The game is styled around that, and if you are competant you should never run out of time except for a hard boss fight (maybe).

I first noticed this phenomenon is Gauntlet, and it pissed me off back then too.

Anyway, so I gave up on being a pilot and played Time Crisis (They have most of them, the only redeeming thing about our arcade). I played the version where you have a machine gun and a riot shield (if you know what I'm talking about good, if not... use your imagination). I was woefully dissapointed because the gun didn't do anything anymore, so I just played through without it pretending to eject casings. That was boring, and I didn't do as well as I usually do. I couldn't get into it.

Afterward I tried a little target shooting game in the back. This was a mistake because the game actually had to use technology. Anything other than a joystick/gun two buttons and a screen in an arcade is either broken or nearly broken. I happily forgot this fact and plunked my coins in. Son of a bitch. This game has little pop up targets, moving targets, and a cup it pretends to break. It takes score of how many shots you use and how long it takes to hit the target, as determined by a little light sensor on the bullseye. It shows you where you are hitting by emitting a circle of light from the gun. Also, you get 20 shots for however many rounds of targets there are.

Now, I never claim to be the best shot, but I'm pretty good I think (especially with a no recoil toy). Given that the gun is a p.o.s. I expected the sights would be off and the light would come out at a strange angle, so the first few shots I missed. I adjusted my aim and started to shoot the targets. I must have hit those fuckers three times each before they thought to go down, so I ran out of bullets in the second round. I try again (stupid) and used up all twenty shots on the first fucking target. It mocked me. So, technical error leads to no fun and a few more coins down.

I still got a few left, where else can I go. I wander around the arcade which is about as well lit as a bad porno being bombarded with loud noises. It almost feels like I'm in hell and they are begging for mercy. Then I pass "Brave Figherfighters" the game and about 3 greasy indian children dressed up like little retarded ganstas (remeber, this is SoDak... come on...) and realize that it isn't like hell, it is in fact hell. Then I find glorious refuge- Deer Hunter.

Is it bad when the best, most enjoyable game that doesn't envolve me prancing around to techno music looking like an obese jackass (DDR, if you didn't figure it out) is fucking Deer Hunter. I played two games of it, first with a black powder musket and then a shotgun. I thoroughly enjoyed it and did ok.

Today I learned that high teck does not equal fun...

This reminds me of a time me and one of my friends (My friend and I, for those who care) went to the arcade and played "Warzaid." It was a pretty good shooter that pitted soldiers versus evil skeleton soldiers. I'm not sure why. Anyway, player 1 was white and player 2 is black for diversity. I was player one and my friend was two. We picked our codenames, I forget what they were, I want to say Wolf (me) and Ace. I am better at shooting games that he was, so I had a better score throughout. This game actually rewards the better shot with a "promotion" and extra health at the end of each sequence. So, whitey got all the promotions. So I made some racially motivated comments and it was funny. Then we broke even in the game because I died or something. Guess what happened. I got promoted. I'm pretty sure this game was made by the KKK... Maybe this wasn't as funny of a story as my brain told me it was. Oh well, next year I'll have my revenge on him when I start drinking...

Anyway, the true moral here is I need something to do.