Thistle fought her tired limbs as the hole under the cottonwoods grower larger. Fatigue began to slow her pace as the promise of security neared. She could hear the panting of the wolves behind her grow nearer. Conjuring up the last of her reserves she picked up the pace.
A black wolf snarled hungrily launched itself from behind a tree. Its lean muscles stretched as it leapt down upon her. Its relatively ponderous mass couldn’t adjust in time as Thistle agilely turned at the last moment, dodging his slavering jaws and raking his chest with her short but sharp antlers. Interceptor snarled in pain and wheeled about, his teeth snapping shut with a snap. It was too late for him though, Thistle had made it into the burrow.
The smell of earth and frightened rabbits engulfed Thistle as she crawled through the burrow, careful not to snag her antlers on roots hanging from the tunnel’s ceiling. After a few yards of crawling she came across a brace of rabbits cowering together in a larger chamber.
“Alright plebs, how the hell do I get out of here?”
“So what’s yer plan Fern?” Stump asked worriedly as he watched the wolves circle the tree.
“What’s YOUR plan?” Fernando replied testily.
“How about the three of us just leave?” A third voice came from behind them. The two young bucks spun to see another Jackelope standing behind them, tapping the tip of her paw to the ground to show impatience.
“Well, hello love, my name is Fernan-“
“Goddamnit not now Fern,” Stump said sharply. “Lead the way miss and you tell us what’s goin’ on when we get away.”
Then they ran for all they were worth.
Leader watched Interceptor squirm in the dirt until he found a way to lick at the shallow cut on his chest. “Failure.” Leader growled.
Interceptor merely whined and continued to lick at his wound.
On the outskirts of the pack Chaser sniffed the air, then let out a low growl. Chaser and Chaser broke from the pack and trotted over to Chaser and began to test the air as well. Leader noticed their agitation and joined them. The scent was unmistakable, Shepherd had found them. Leader’s tail dropped between his legs as he realized the kind of trouble he would be in if his pack couldn’t dig out their prey.
Leader watched as Shepherd’s thick form emerged from over the hill. The wolves hadn’t figured out what he was yet besides danger. He was shaped like them, but thickly built and coated in long grey and white fur. As far as they could tell he had no eyes over his nose and killing mouth, just a mound of the same thick fur coming off of his brow. All they knew is he came from where people were.
Leader shimmied along the ground toward Shepherd. He knew how dangerous Shepherd could be, and took special pains to make no dominant gestures. If the Chasers would help they could easily overpower the larger animal, but after the Shepherd tore the throat out of the old Leader the Chasers obeyed his authority. If there was a fight it would have to be between Leader and Shepherd alone.
Shepherd’s bob tail twitched. “Why isn’t it dead, Leader?” It wondered.
“Runs fast. In holes. Jackelopes hide with rabbits. Interceptor failed,” Leader whined, and then pled, “No hurt, no kill.”
“No, Leader,” Shepherd said, “The rabbits have another hole you’ve missed, and your quarry has already escaped you with two others. This troubles me, Leader, but you are fortunate that I don’t believe your current Interceptor would have done any better a job as Leader than you have. So- Good News!- you live to serve me yet. Now, they’ve gone south, how about you follow them, yes?”
The wolves began to run.
“No,” Thistle said, “I don’t know why he wants me dead. He’s just a fucking psychopathic dog,” and this was mostly true.
понедельник, февраля 16, 2009
вторник, января 27, 2009
воскресенье, декабря 07, 2008
Thought for the Day
Women have been my trouble since I found out they weren't men.
-Waylon Jennings "A Long Time Ago."
-Waylon Jennings "A Long Time Ago."
пятница, декабря 05, 2008
Thought for the Day
Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from science!
-Studio Foglio's "Girl Genius"
-Studio Foglio's "Girl Genius"
воскресенье, ноября 23, 2008
The Story of Fernando, pt. 2
There was a blur of legs and Stump saw his life unfurl before his eyes. The memories were vague at first. The warmth of his mother’s soft fur. The flavor of his first truffle. Sunlight on green grass. As he became older they became more complex. Old Master Rock training them to fight the enemies of their kind. The hint of fear in his sparring partner’s eyes and he tensed to lash out with his muscular hind leg. Pain. The smell of the stinging herbs his mother chewed to a pulp and smeared on his cuts. Fern being an incorrigible ass. The bees chasing them because Fern tried to steal their honey, not to eat, but to smear on Stump to get the bees to chase him anyway. Fern proudly declaring it a half success as he pulled a sting out of his ear. The day they left home. The sorrowful look on their mother’s face.
The sudden pain in his chest brought him back to reality, and then the wolves were past them. The leader of the pack fell to the ground heavily and rolled to a stop. The pack did not slow as it closed the hole and continued the chase. Fernando and Stump were sprawled out on the ground, covered in the dirt and loose grass kicked up by the charging wolves.
Fernando coughed. “That was a fucking bad plan.”
Stump merely groaned and rubbed the spot where the lead wolf’s ankle caught him in the ribs. Eventually he said, “Hey, we took down a wolf by ourselves.” He tried to smile optimistically but inside he was worried. He had panicked. He wasn’t supposed to panic, he was supposed to fight.
“He tripped over our feeble little bodies you dunce!” Fernando shouted, hobbling over to his still prone brother. “Did you really think that we could fight one wolf, much less an entire pack?”
“Well why’d ya follow me in?” Stump winced as he spoke.
“Shut up.”
Leader was surprised as he flew through the air. He knew he tripped on something. It was soft and small, and it wasn’t there a moment ago. Now Leader was flying. In the distance he could see Interceptor moving between their quarry and the cottonwood grove. Then he rotated and all he could see was the rush of the Chasers as the dashed past him, undaunted. Leader had a moment of pleasure as he considered the relentless nature of his pack.
Then he hit the ground. There was pain, dull with pinpricks of sharp as rocks and stiff plants dug into his side. The impact beat a cloud of dust out of the dry ground that clogged his nose and mouth. Leader lay on the ground for a moment to regain his bearings. He turned towards some small noises that were coming from where he tripped. Two more like his quarry were lying on the ground. They looked like they were arguing. Leader considered killing them both, but he could feel the pack getting farther away with every moment and they were not the quarry. Leader loped away.
“Now what do you suggest we do?”
“Iunno. Go back after them?”
“What did I just say about fucking bad plans?”
“Gotta try.”
The sudden pain in his chest brought him back to reality, and then the wolves were past them. The leader of the pack fell to the ground heavily and rolled to a stop. The pack did not slow as it closed the hole and continued the chase. Fernando and Stump were sprawled out on the ground, covered in the dirt and loose grass kicked up by the charging wolves.
Fernando coughed. “That was a fucking bad plan.”
Stump merely groaned and rubbed the spot where the lead wolf’s ankle caught him in the ribs. Eventually he said, “Hey, we took down a wolf by ourselves.” He tried to smile optimistically but inside he was worried. He had panicked. He wasn’t supposed to panic, he was supposed to fight.
“He tripped over our feeble little bodies you dunce!” Fernando shouted, hobbling over to his still prone brother. “Did you really think that we could fight one wolf, much less an entire pack?”
“Well why’d ya follow me in?” Stump winced as he spoke.
“Shut up.”
Leader was surprised as he flew through the air. He knew he tripped on something. It was soft and small, and it wasn’t there a moment ago. Now Leader was flying. In the distance he could see Interceptor moving between their quarry and the cottonwood grove. Then he rotated and all he could see was the rush of the Chasers as the dashed past him, undaunted. Leader had a moment of pleasure as he considered the relentless nature of his pack.
Then he hit the ground. There was pain, dull with pinpricks of sharp as rocks and stiff plants dug into his side. The impact beat a cloud of dust out of the dry ground that clogged his nose and mouth. Leader lay on the ground for a moment to regain his bearings. He turned towards some small noises that were coming from where he tripped. Two more like his quarry were lying on the ground. They looked like they were arguing. Leader considered killing them both, but he could feel the pack getting farther away with every moment and they were not the quarry. Leader loped away.
“Now what do you suggest we do?”
“Iunno. Go back after them?”
“What did I just say about fucking bad plans?”
“Gotta try.”
понедельник, ноября 17, 2008
200th Post! The Story of Fernando pt. 1
Yes, I am Writing a Story about This
“My name is Fernando los Ciervos del Conejo, and it is pleasure to have the company of such beautiful does such as yourselves,” He said in the voice that drifted between silk and smoke. He inhaled through a thin roll of herbs he had meticulously sought out and collected among the prairie grasses. He smoothed the soft fur on his muzzle and twitched his whiskers just so, causing them to gleam in the sun. He had spent months practicing the motion to appear nonchalant. There was a pause as the wind blew cottonwood fluff across the clearing, and a thin wisp tangled briefly in Fernando’s stately antlers.
“And I’m Stump!” His brother declared proudly in a brassy, low voice as he popped his head over Fernando’s shoulder. He absentmindedly chewed a wad of clover, shifting it back and forth between his oversized incisors. Fernando slumped slightly, his proud features sagging to a vague look of defeat.
The rabbits they spoke to continued to chew grass and twitched their ears slightly, oblivious to their would-be suitors. One hopped a few feet away, making only the slightest shuffling noise on the soft grass.
“Maybe we should try other Jackelopes, ya’ know? Least they can speak,” Stump suggested timidly. “Maybe we should go home Fern.”
Fernando battered Stump’s face feebly with his tiny forepaws. “You will never call me that name again! I am Fernando, Fernando los Ciervos del Conejo! And no, we cannot go home, not until I find my true love!”
Stump raised an eyebrow doubtfully as one of the rabbits nibbled at a dandelion. “One of these gonna be yer true love?”
“No you foolish fool! Of course not, they are mere hares where I am a stately Jackelope. But I have the heart of a lover, and with such a heart one is cursed to seek out passion wherever he might find it.” Fernando grasped his chest as he said this, feigning a face both melancholy yet hopeful.
“So, eh, yer a slut?”
“Let’s just say, dear brother, that I am good at laying women,” Fernando said haughtily. He then hopped on top of one of the does, who was more than happy to oblige him, that being the nature of rabbits.
Stump shrugged a little rabbitly shrug, considered one of the other does briefly, and decided he was better off keeping a look-out for eagles, owls, coyotes, and every other animal that enjoyed eating rabbits, hares, and bunnies. As a Jackelope he had nothing to fear, but as a Jackelope he knew it to be his duty to protect the lower species. That, and he was simply bored with the life of “adventure” his brother, then known merely as Fern- the name their loving mother had given him- had promised him when they left their warren for the vastness of the grasslands.
A black dot appeared on the horizon, backlit against the setting red sun. As it grew nearer it grew into the unmistakable silhouette of two long ears paralleling two stumpy antlers. It was running very fast. More dots began to appear behind it. They were bigger, much bigger, and gaining on the solitary runner. Then the howling began.
“Wolves!” Stump shouted, “Goddamnit Fern pull out, we’ve got work to do!”
“Its Fernando,” he remarked absently as he moved to stand with Stump.
The howling grew louder as the chase grew nearer the two. They could see the fleeing Jackelope clearly now, his eyes were wide with terror and his coat was matted and burred from days of hard travel. The brothers began to run to him in an attempt to disrupt his numerous pursuers. The wolves were arrayed in a wall of fur and slavering fangs.
“I think we’re fucked,” was the last thing said before they collided.
“My name is Fernando los Ciervos del Conejo, and it is pleasure to have the company of such beautiful does such as yourselves,” He said in the voice that drifted between silk and smoke. He inhaled through a thin roll of herbs he had meticulously sought out and collected among the prairie grasses. He smoothed the soft fur on his muzzle and twitched his whiskers just so, causing them to gleam in the sun. He had spent months practicing the motion to appear nonchalant. There was a pause as the wind blew cottonwood fluff across the clearing, and a thin wisp tangled briefly in Fernando’s stately antlers.
“And I’m Stump!” His brother declared proudly in a brassy, low voice as he popped his head over Fernando’s shoulder. He absentmindedly chewed a wad of clover, shifting it back and forth between his oversized incisors. Fernando slumped slightly, his proud features sagging to a vague look of defeat.
The rabbits they spoke to continued to chew grass and twitched their ears slightly, oblivious to their would-be suitors. One hopped a few feet away, making only the slightest shuffling noise on the soft grass.
“Maybe we should try other Jackelopes, ya’ know? Least they can speak,” Stump suggested timidly. “Maybe we should go home Fern.”
Fernando battered Stump’s face feebly with his tiny forepaws. “You will never call me that name again! I am Fernando, Fernando los Ciervos del Conejo! And no, we cannot go home, not until I find my true love!”
Stump raised an eyebrow doubtfully as one of the rabbits nibbled at a dandelion. “One of these gonna be yer true love?”
“No you foolish fool! Of course not, they are mere hares where I am a stately Jackelope. But I have the heart of a lover, and with such a heart one is cursed to seek out passion wherever he might find it.” Fernando grasped his chest as he said this, feigning a face both melancholy yet hopeful.
“So, eh, yer a slut?”
“Let’s just say, dear brother, that I am good at laying women,” Fernando said haughtily. He then hopped on top of one of the does, who was more than happy to oblige him, that being the nature of rabbits.
Stump shrugged a little rabbitly shrug, considered one of the other does briefly, and decided he was better off keeping a look-out for eagles, owls, coyotes, and every other animal that enjoyed eating rabbits, hares, and bunnies. As a Jackelope he had nothing to fear, but as a Jackelope he knew it to be his duty to protect the lower species. That, and he was simply bored with the life of “adventure” his brother, then known merely as Fern- the name their loving mother had given him- had promised him when they left their warren for the vastness of the grasslands.
A black dot appeared on the horizon, backlit against the setting red sun. As it grew nearer it grew into the unmistakable silhouette of two long ears paralleling two stumpy antlers. It was running very fast. More dots began to appear behind it. They were bigger, much bigger, and gaining on the solitary runner. Then the howling began.
“Wolves!” Stump shouted, “Goddamnit Fern pull out, we’ve got work to do!”
“Its Fernando,” he remarked absently as he moved to stand with Stump.
The howling grew louder as the chase grew nearer the two. They could see the fleeing Jackelope clearly now, his eyes were wide with terror and his coat was matted and burred from days of hard travel. The brothers began to run to him in an attempt to disrupt his numerous pursuers. The wolves were arrayed in a wall of fur and slavering fangs.
“I think we’re fucked,” was the last thing said before they collided.
воскресенье, ноября 09, 2008
Подписаться на:
Сообщения (Atom)
