Gunslinger's Hymn

Lord, You have made me strong,
Although it's my life that is the cause.
Just once I wish you'd change the world,
So I won't need it all the time.

Lord, I no longer have a purpose,

Although there are some things I do.

Just once I wish you'd aim me,

So I'd have a path to wander on.

Lord, You give me what I need,
Although there are some things I want.
Just once I wish you'd help me,
So I can be content.

Lord, I know you are with me,
Although you remain silent.
Just once do I wish you'd make an appearance,
So I won't be so sure I'm wrong.

I've lead an easy life, oh Lord.
And for that I give you thanks.
But I envy those who have more,

And I envy all my friends.
I envy those who sin, good God,

I envy them for their means and for their ends.

I thank you, Lord,

For making me a man who won't give in.

But I am a fool for wanting,

And that is your fault too.
And though I know that I should change,
I'd rather just blame you.

But please, Lord, for old times sake,
Just give me what I'm due.
I could be happy with nothing,
If I knew it was from you.

Stanza 6 of the Song of the Patrick

Patrick's a man who thinks with his gut,
Feeding him well will put him in rut,
But don't think he's a man who cares only for lust,
Who's love will end when he can't see your bust.
Patrick is kind, and Patrick is loyal,
So feed him dessert and he'll make you a Boyle.

I am your friend. This is my promise.

When I think you are wrong, I will tell you.
When I don't understand, I will ask you.
When you turn to the dark, I will strike you down
And drag you back to the light.
This I promise you.

You will have my help as long as you need it.
You will have my friendship as long as it is not betrayed.
You will have my love whether you want it or not.
This I promise you.

Although my companionship may only be temporary,
Although time may drag us apart.
You have only to summon me,
And I will return.
This I promise you.

I will return with credit or cash.
I will return with pistol and axe.
I will return with a warm hug.
Whever you need, I will bring it.
This I promise you.

I am eternal.
I am inevitable.
I am your friend.
This I promise you.

You are bound by chains.

But if I asked you, "Are you free?"
You would say, "Yes,"

Because you cannot see.

They are not chains of steel,
They are not chains of tyranny,

They are not chains of obligation,

These are the chains that truly bind you.

These chains exist inside of you.
Your pride.
Your shame.
You hope.

Your pain.

They are all chains that bind the Self into servitude.

You feel as though they have power over you,
But a feeling is not desire,
A feeling is not the will.
Your hand moves by the power of your will alone.
Your voice speaks only with your consent.
You have a choice your feelings would deny you.
They howl to terrorize you into satisfying them.
They speak with honeyed words to lure you.
Your feelings lie,
And if you obey them,
They will turn hope to phosphor,
And they will turn fear to lodestone.
Your will is not free until you learn to free yourself from those chains.
You are not free until you learn to do what is right,
Even if you are scared,
Even if it feels better,
Even if you learned not to, so long ago.
You have the power to do what is right,
To do what brings peace to your heart,
To protect yourself from the real problems in your world,
And escape those conjured by the daemons to blind you.
You can break these chains,
Because in the end you have choice.
If only you can see it,
If only you knew it to be true.
You have the strength to do anything you want,
Just look past the illusion.
You could be free.
But you are bound by chains.

Loyalty is the first virtue.

To be loyal is to give all you have to someone else,
And when they think that you are all used up,
And you have nothing left,
You smile.
Because you know you have so much more to give,
They just never knew to ask you for it,
Because loyalty does not end.
It does not end when your flesh tears.
It does not end when your bones shatter.
It does not end when your mind breaks.
It ends only when your soul is torn apart by the chains that once held it.
And in that moment you are free.

Loyalty is the first virtue.
It is the virtue that you give,
And give,
And give to another.

Loyalty ends only in death.



Justice is the second virtue.

Justice is balance,
To be just is to seek balance.
It is to find ways to go into the dark,
And turn it to light.
Because the light is bound by rule and law,
And the dark is free to seep into existence,
To tip the scales in its favor.

Like the dark,
The actions of men are not so bound,
So the just go with sword and torch
And stab at shadows,
Waiting for the new dawn to rise.

The Blind Lady watches silently,
Not yet willing to tell the Just
That the sun died long ago.
Only the hearts of good men bring light to the world,
Like so many sparks they glimmer in the night,
Then die.

Justice is the second virtue.
It is the light that the dark steals from the world,
And few notice its passing.

Strength is the third virtue.

Strength is not force of arms,
It is force of will.
Strength is the ability to free the self,
To wrest it from the daemons that guide ones hand to wrong.
To be strong is to choose.
It is the choice to reject what is easy.
It is the choice to reject what feels good.
It is the choice to accept what is right.

It is the choice that all men fail to make,
Given time, and temptation.
Because there is so much that is easy,
Because there is so much that feels good,
Because there is so little that seems right anymore.

Strength is the third virtue.
Like a stone in the desert,
It is worn away slowly,
Painfully,
Because nothing is eternal,
And evil does not relent.

The flesh cannot withstand the storm.

Truth is the fourth virtue.

It is to turn ones voice to white light,
It is to never let your heart bleed new darkness into the world.
It is not only to never lie,
But also to have no need of lies.
Lies only exist to cloak the darkness in twilight,
To make the darkness glow as it poisons the soul,
To make the shadows glitter as they wound the innocent.
Truth is not mere honesty,
It is pureness that makes honesty obsolete.

Truth is the fourth virtue.
The virtue silenced by cowardice.
The virtue neglected by weakness.
The virtue left to crumble and rust and fail
Because of the honeyed words form the darkness,
It promises, “I’ll forgive you.”
It lies, “I'll still love you.”
It whispers, “Because it won’t hurt them if they don’t find out.”

Truth is being hung by the convenience of secrecy.

Truth is being strangled by our doubts.

Wisdom is the fifth virtue.

It is the ability to see with clear eyes
Through the darkness of the world
To where he light lies dieing,
Beaten and weak, bleeding radiance into nothingess.
It is the ability to remember what it means to do what is right.
And to know what it means to be good.
And to care enough to pursue them.
The light is not dead,
She is merely weakened from assault and starvation,
She needs champions to bring her to the world once more.
If only someone could see her though the endless night.

Wisdom is the fifth virtue.
It is to know good from evil.
It is to not be ignorant of the effects of one’s actions.
It is the virtue that allows men to transcend their base natures,
And carry the light back to this world.

Wisdom is the mother of hope.

Original Sermon, less poetic, but discusses the same concepts in a different light.

Real Poetry (Why Not?)

Fate they say, is like the wind,
Before which we must stand.
And when it blows, it’s nice to know,
That you can hold her hand.

Because it’s a short, hard life that we must live,
And without someone special to give,
Your self, your heart, your love,
Life’s a damn hard thing to rise above.

So cherish what you have found,
And celebrate it on every single day.
Because too soon the wind will blow,
And we’ll all be swept away.

-

It’s a single cephalopodan eye,
Glistening, yet dull, devoid of life,
Its thoughtless gaze burns and tears through flesh.
It’s the color purple,
The color of beaten skin now bruised,
And of royalty, the oppressors.
It’s the stench of rotting corpses,
Of a meaningless and reasonless end.
Seen fair by the blind.
Proclaimed just by the mute.
With a final plea heard only by the deaf.
It’s a shrill cacophony,
The flautist unseen,
That grinds like the rough, wet tongue of the wolf as it devours the innocent lamb,
Its guardian, its savior, its shepherd unseen.

The jester’s verdict now law.

-

There once was a man from Nantucket,
And there was a hole in his bucket.
Although he did try,
The hole stayed awry,
So he decided to fuck it.

Couldn't help myself.

All For Naught

There once was a bat,
The night flying rat,
Nobody liked him it seems.

Though he had a heart,
He lived in the dark,
Without love or the light that it brings.

He then saw a girl,
His wings did unfurl,
He flew to pluck her heartstrings.

But away she did run,
So out came his gun,
And he ended his little bat dreams.

Poetry Session

After having conjured up the poem for Naught during my American Literature survey, I held onto my momentum and wrote some more crap too.

Haiku

Winter sorrows come,
Frozen flowers felled by frost,
Hey, I just farted.

(It alliterates)

Women in the crowd,
Do their titties see my stare?
I await the slap.

Some girls must love me,
But their lying lips say, "No!"
Restraining Order.

Beer makes the girls say,
"Patrick looks handsome tonight."
I am a bad man.

Free Form Poetry

Sometimes I feel like a nut,
Sometimes I don't,
Almond Joy's got nuts,
Mound's don't.
Sometimes I question the wisdom of writing poetry while watching TV.
Usually I don't.

Poetry is a sham,
Just another stupid scam,
For the men who want some pussy,
They just act sensitive and wussy.
So young women I emplore thee!
Please, oh please do not ignore me!
Find a doctor, lawyer, or a banker boy.
You can treat them like a toy,
They will buy you happiness,
And when you are bored there's always the pool boy's penis.

I'm a lot more fun when I've had coffee.

Sermon

Loyalty is the first virtue.

To be loyal is to put another first for no other reason than the fact that they exist, without the expectation of personal gain. It is constant and unrestrained charity that ends only in death. It is the willingness the sacrifice the self for the salvation of another. Loyalty is greater than love.

Loyalty is the first virtue, which you owe to another.

Justice is the second virtue.

To be just is to be infinitely fair in all one’s decisions. It is the preservation of balance in the pursuit of truth. If one is just then he will never do what he knows in his heart to be wrong and will be unassailable by those who would lead him to sin. Justice is greater than temperance.

Loyalty is the first virtue, which you owe to another.
Justice is the second virtue, which you owe to the world.

Determination is the third virtue.

To be determined is pit oneself against any opposition. It is to refute anything that denies the self and it is the denial of the possible death of the self. If one is determined then defeat is impossible, only the absence of victory. Determination is greater than courage.

Loyalty is the first virtue, which you owe to another.
Justice is the second virtue, which you owe to the world.
Determination is the third virtue, which you owe to yourself.

Perfection is the fourth virtue.

To be perfect is to not err in any facility. It is to always do the right thing. It is to succeed whenever possible, and to only fail when the world conspires to prevent your victory. Everyone is with fault, but if one aspires to be perfect then they set the most worthy goal of all. Perfection is greater than excellence.

Loyalty is the first virtue, which you owe to another.
Justice is the second virtue, which you owe to the world.
Determination is the third virtue, which you owe to yourself.
Perfection is the fourth virtue, which you cannot be.

Self-awareness is the fifth virtue.

To be self-aware is to understand that one exists. It is to understand the price of one’s actions, and the worth of one’s acts. If one is self-aware then one knows their faults and their strengths, and will be able to act appropriately. Self-awareness is the source from which all other virtues come.

Loyalty is the first virtue, which you owe to another.
Justice is the second virtue, which you owe to the world.
Determination is the third virtue, which you owe to yourself.
Perfection is the fourth virtue, which you cannot be.
Self-awareness is the fifth virtue, which you must be.

Surrounding and opposing the five virtues are twenty three vices.

The first order of vices is those which show the weakness of spirit.

Hopelessness, for it is the admission of defeat before one tries.
Failure, for one has not failed if he has done everything they could to succeed.
Tolerance, for one who accepts a fault allows it to grow.
Passivity, for one who does not take a stand he cannot succeed.
Mercy, for one will always be in conflict as long as one’s enemies exist.
Dishonesty, for one who is unwilling to reveal the truth is a coward.
Hate, for hating something denies it the ability to change for the better.

The second order of vices is those which show failure to serve diligence.

Accident, for everything one does should be with intent.
Irrationality, for everything one does should be considered.
Ignorance, for ignorance only serves to facilitate failure.
Impatience, for it prevents one from considering all options.
Recklessness, for it leads to one disregarding the proper path.
Sloth, for if one does not act when they know what is right they deserve to fail.
Venality, for anyone with a price will fail to do what is right.

The third order of vices is those which show that one loves himself most.

Vanity, for the excessive love of one’s appearance makes the world ugly.
Lust, for the excessive love of carnality only leads only to causing others pain.
Envy, for the hate of that which is greater than oneself leads only to destruction.
Greed, for the love of objects leads only causes others loss.
Wrath, for the love of vengeance leads one to forget their duty.
Hypocrisy, for it only reveals love for the self and hate for all others.
Betrayal, for those who deserve one’s love most are those who trust you.

The fourth order of vices is those which cause all other vices.

Pride, for when everyone is beneath you they have no value.
Dogmatism, for no absolute captures the complexity of life.

To live with all virtues and without any vices is the path to Raptor Jesus' love, and that is the truth.

Fucked if I Know...

Wayward Hymn

Fire and brimstone be fallin' down on me.
Time ta' hide, time ta' hide!
God's yellow eye be lookin' for me.
He knows I lied, he knows I lied.

Under rocks, in a cave, and a'hind a stump,
I use ta' hide, I use ta' hide.
Now I be wearin' me a grinnin' mask.
How it lies. Oh how it lies!

'cause I be the sinner man,
Not the preacher man,
Not your lover man,
Just a wander man who can never find a home.

When the snow be comin',
He still be here, but I won't be here.
Rest of me flown so far away,
And gotta stop runnin' soon.

Iron shirt I be wearing now,
Ready ta' fight, ready ta' fight.
Little baby joke just got born here,
Cause I know I'm wrong, I know He's right.

Guess it don't matter much no more,
'cause I done leave you here.

Remix

I created a new mix cd of my music, and the thought came to me that I should take lyrics to make a poem.

(read: I was bored...)

To the first person who can find the artist/song for each lyric gets a steak or something, to be awarded when I feel like it. I would say no internet, but really much of this is pretty obscure and almost none of them are major lyrics from the songs.

Do your demons, do they ever let you go?
I don't know how I got this way, I know it's not alright.
Never did I want to be here again, and I don't remember why I came.
I will hope my soul will fly and I will live forever!

Back in my day son, a man had to pay for the wicked he done.
Finally someone let me out of my cage.
Not a prisoner, I'm a free man, and my blood is my own now.
So raise the banner, take back your bones.

I'm the new cancer, never looked better.
If you're wonderin' what it look like look at me!
I will stand my ground, won't be turned around.
And I will remain a soldier, 'till the war is won.

The wind will whisper the way it is, I'm going to happen.
I don't think you trust in my self-rightous suicide.
Take second best, put me to the test.
In the name of God my father I'll fly!

Come and make me holy again.

Old File I Found

Failure

To the deep mountain forest I have come,
And to the glorious muse I pray,
That my words might dance to Pan’s pipes and drum.

I sit upon the highest rock.
The hazy blue sky encircles me,
And to me the mountain spirits flock.

Is this where dryads live?
Is it here that the faerie-kin play?
Is this where the nymphs of the trees...
What’s that squirrel doing?
Never mind… Where was I?

I listen to the eternal song of sweet Persephone.
Her enchanting melody elevates me through the forest,
And allows me to touch the souls of every tree.

In my trance I stare away into the depth of the wood,
And I feel the spirits of the animals that reside within,
The fox, the deer, the bear, the wolf, the hawk, the owl …a squirrel…
Go away!

It is from my enlightened seat,
That I view the many wonders of this ancient grove.
Anxiously, the secrets of the forest I greet.

What perfect thought does the pine’s whisper convey?
It sings a hymn against the cruel encroachment of the city,
Their concrete tombs block even the light of day.

For it is in these earthen depths in which the Old Gods hide,
The King in Yellow, the Man of the Silver Mountain,
And the venerable Lord Oberon here reside.

They call to me to join their court,
To declare me their Knight Errant,
And to make the lives of their squirrel
- damn it- enemies short,

They bid me to save the gods’ great grove.
To protect their hallowed halls from the engines of man,
For to them it is nothing but a banal treasure trove.

Then in the bushes below something moves,
Is it bold Satyrane come to hold palaver with me?
No, it is that stupid squirrel again.

The spell is broken,
I realize my ass has gone numb.
I am cold and hungry.
All I have to show for my trouble is some pretty words and no truth.
I’m going home.

Damn squirrel…



---

This was just an expression of my distain for certain forms of poetry that I made for my creative writing class. Figgered I might as well post it. I've been deleting files and I stumbled across it.

Albino Rhino Rap, Dawg

I’m the Albino Rhino just look at my horn.
You know it gets bigger when I watch a porn.
With a horn this big the girls don’t get bored,
And all the honeys want to get gored.
That’s right.
All the girls want me to charge,
And stick them with the horn that is so large.

In China stuff happens that I think is whack,
They think my horn’s an aphrodisiac.
I don’t blame them, not a single one,
Because I know my horn makes it fun.
That’s right.
Because when I stick them with my bit,
The ladies I’m lovin’ start havin’ a fit.

I live out in the Serengeti,
So the ladies don’t try to get me,
Every girl wants a piece of this
But I just want to sleep and drink some crys.
That’s right.
I’m always being followed by some chick,
Who wants a chance to ride my dick.

So listen up to what I tell you,
Every thing I’ve said is true.
If you don’t believe me that’s ok,
Nobody cares what you say,
That’s right.
Because it’s the rhino who has the mic,
And without it you can take a hike.

I just hang around in the zoo,
Singin’ with the rest of the crew.
Cause this is the place you want to be,
We’re one big animal family.
That’s right.
But now it’s time for the yellow rat,
To let you all know where it’s at!